Last week, a friend posted a link to this blog on her Facebook. I read it over and was struck by #7) Today, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.
I'm not a perfect mother, and I don't think anyone (no matter what you may see) is. I've been frustrated by my kids, have yelled at them, enjoy my time away from them, and feel generally overwhelmed by them, especially when they're clinging to me like their lives depend on it. But this part struck me, mainly because of one child:
Surprise, surprise. Sarah is great when we're out, she's very social, smiles and waves at everyone, laughs, plays by herself...but at home, it's a different story. She clings to my side, if I walk out her sight she cries, and her most used word is "MAMA" said very sadly. And yes, sometimes (often), I am frustrated and repelled by this behavior. I've been ignoring it for months and it doesn't seem to be working, so I'm switching tactics and am going to draw closer to her. God give me strength, because this is not my default reaction - my default is a 'suck it up and get over it' type attitude.
She's growing up so much - her vocabulary is amazing, and she tries to say almost any word you ask her to. Of course, most of her words are still baby talk, but Shawn and I both think she'll be speaking quite a bit by her 2nd birthday. It's hard to believe she's not 2 yet - she's so tall and big, she's easily in 3T for tops and bottoms.
Jeremiah is also frustrating, but on a different level. He argues with me over the most silly things, and then has the nerve to tell me he's not arguing with me! Argh. But he turns around and tells me that he loves me and gives me a hug and a kiss. And he never stops talking. For instance, this morning he woke up and has not stopped talking about his new dragon, who was in our fridge but is now gone. He loves to learn, and I feel only a little bad about not having him in preschool, only because I think he'd have a lot of fun and do well.
Just posting this blog is an exercise in patience! It's 630am and I've been interrupted I don't know how many times...even though I've been a mom for over 3 years, I'm still learning to adjust my expectations.